Retirement is one of the biggest life transitions any of us will go through, yet we tend to treat it primarily in financial terms. How much money is it going to take to realistically afford to step away from the job?

It’s a fair question, said Sandrine Nono-Kamga, Wealth Planning Advisor at BMO Private Wealth. But when it comes to a truly rewarding retirement, your savings are only the starting point.

In her work, Nono-Kamga often finds herself guiding clients through what she calls the “emotional, social, and personal” side of retirement – the part that asks what retired life will look and feel like. It’s not always comfortable to think about, but avoiding it can leave people unexpectedly adrift, restless or isolated in years meant to feel like freedom.

“Many times, our life is built around our job, what we do for living, and where we work,” she explained. But when the job ends, so do the routines, responsibilities and relationships that came with it. “What if you have five-million dollars in savings? Then what? You still need a reason to get up every morning. You still need to have a sense of identity. You still need to know who you are and why you do what you do.”

More than a number

It’s easy to understand why so many people focus on the numbers. According to BMO’s Annual Retirement Survey, Canadians believe they need $1.7 million to retire comfortably, up from $1.54 million year-over-year and more than a third of respondents said they worry they won’t have enough.

But research into the wellbeing of older Canadians suggests “psychological security” – that is, staying engaged, contributing to society and feeling a sense of belonging – may matter as much as financial security and health, or even more.

A separate study indicates that the social changes of retirement can be as hard to manage as the financial ones, since so much of our identity and belonging is tied to work. Retirees who rebuild social ties tend to report better health and greater life satisfaction.

It’s why, when a new client sits down across from her, Nono-Kamga often pushes the spreadsheet aside and takes the conversation deeper, asking, “Tell me about your life. If money wasn’t an issue, what would retirement actually look like?”

The conversations are designed to reveal not just what someone can afford to do, but what they actually want to do. The answers are as varied as the people who give them.

One couple, for example, came to Nono-Kamga unsure whether retirement was possible within the timeframe they’d hoped for. The husband had spent years running a small electrical business and was feeling tired. His wife, though, wasn’t convinced they could afford for him to step away just yet.

Only after Nono-Kamga steered the conversation away from the math of retirement and focused on the lifestyle they wanted did the real picture start to emerge. Weekends with the grandchildren mattered most, and the couple loved taking them out and spoiling them, right down to buying the occasional Lego set. The couple talked about travel, the time they had already spent in the United States and the trips they still hoped to take through Europe and South America, along with the longer stretches they imagined in Florida.

By the end of the meeting, they’d stopped asking whether retirement was possible and started picturing what they wanted it to be. “It was a beautiful conversation,” she said.

Find who you are

For Nono-Kamga, emotional readiness starts with getting specific. Too often, she said, retirement is imagined broadly – more travel, more freedom, perhaps some volunteering. But not enough detailed thought is given to how those ambitions will fit into daily life.

She encourages clients to approach retirement planning with the same intention they bring to financial planning. Sit down for moments of reflection. Hold a family conversation. Think honestly about what gives life energy and meaning.

Important questions include: Do you enjoy structure, or do you prefer flexibility? Are you happiest around people or do you value solitude? What parts of your current life do you want more of and what are you hoping to leave behind? The answers often reveal priorities clients had not fully articulated to themselves, she said.

She also suggests test-driving retirement ideas before fully committing to a plan.

“If you think you want to travel to Europe, maybe go for two or three weeks at a time, and then see what it looks like,” she suggested. The same logic applies to almost anything people imagine for their next chapter, whether that’s taking classes, spending more time with friends and family or volunteering with a favourite charity or community organization. Sometimes the results can be surprising.

Ultimately, she said, the strongest retirement plans prepare for more than financial security. After all, retirement isn’t just about having enough to live on – it’s about having something to live for. A retirement plan should leave room for the practical realities of life after work, as well as address the harder questions about purpose, routine and social connection.

“Money is extremely important,” Nono-Kamga said. “But it’s not everything; maintaining a meaningful purpose and a raison d’être – especially in retirement – is equally important.”